The Return of The Monday Night Heavy Metal Fitness Ride and Free Beer Quaff

Through the mists of time… as darkness descends… the madness resumes…

Monday approacheth…

That’s right boys and girls. It’s the return of The Monday Night Heavy Metal Fitness Ride and Free Beer Quaff!

Here’s how it works…

This season we’ll be running two classes of riders. A and B class you ask? Fuck that. It’ll be Slayer class and Melvin class. Speed metal or dirge metal. You decide.

The ride departs the Lamar Pedestrian Bridge this Monday at 7:30 pm. Sharp. Expect a reasonably fast pace, covering 24 miles on an urban route in the dark. After, we’ll visit the Jackalope and enjoy free beer, heavy metal madness, half-priced pizza and happy hour ($2.00 wells) all damn night.

Ride what brung ya. Road, touring, mountain, bmx, cruzer, fixie, whatever. Metal Fitness is an equal opportunity ride and not limited to roadies.

You’ll need to bring water, lights, tube changing necessities, a lock, your id and *TIP MONEY* if you’re drinking. You might even check the route map. I wear a helmet and recommend you do too as the ride is fast and in the dark. No banging your head during the ride.

***Study the route or be doomed to wander South Austin til the end of time.
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/tx/austin/880127085180186018

So…

Melvin class?

or Slayer class?

Lowballers Cycling Club Old Man Ride

Old?

Really old?

Like over 40 old?

Ride a single speed bike?

Enjoy overly competitive bowling mid-ride and continuing the last half of said ride half drunk, on dirt trails, with a belly stuffed full of burgers and beer?

Well then, I have the ride for you..

Did I mention bacon wrapped hot dogs?

The Old Man Ride will depart from the Weatherford trail head of the Lake Mineral Wells State Trailway mid-morning of May 15th (exact time forthcoming) and ride 22 miles via one of the states finest rail trails to Mineral Wells to enjoy bowling at The Mountaineer Lanes, burgers and beer at Woody’s finishing with a nice leisurely ride back to Weatherford. You must be over 40 and ride a single speed to attend.

If You Ain’t Ready… Get Ready!

An Austin Snow Day…

Well, Austin was all a titter last night as we prepared for our first snow forecast of the year. Half inch to and inch predicted… The stores were crowded with folks stocking up with necessities…

This morning I found some time to get out in the cold and hit the dirt. I think I may have seen a snowflake… or two. I did see an osprey and a red tailed hawk below Lady Bird Lake though. That was cool.

Shoal Creek Hike and Bike.

50 psi.

Yes, I'm trying.

Don't slip.

Two way.

Corner mirror.

Serenade me.

Ol' Greybeard.

Great minds think alike.

Watch your head.

Nod hello.

Onward.

Pirate head tube.

Colorado River trail to Montopolis.

Tracks.

Lower Colorado River

The Heavy Metal Fitness Ride. Version 22.0.

Anyone up for a cold, wet Heavy Metal Fitness Ride in the dark hills of west Austin?

Uhhhh, anyone?

Hmmmm.

Well, regardless, the Metal Ride must rock on. This Monday we’ll forgo our newly established ritual of breaking up into groups. That’d just be too damn lonely. Expect a B to C pace with “no drop” this week. Thus, despite the likelihood of inclement weather, the ride will be a bit more mellow.

The temperatures are predicted to be in the low 50’s, high 40’s with a 50% chance of rain. Think rain gear.

We’ll depart from the Plfuger Pedestrian Bridge at 7:30 pm sharp.

Here’s the route map:

http://www.bikely.com/maps/bike-path/Heavy-Metal-Hills-Version-4-1

The usual lowdown follows with a special emphasis on helmets, lights and the large west Austin rodents we know as deer.

It’ll be slick as a whistle out there so helmets are VERY STRONGLY recommended. We had a rider crack his helmet in dry weather three weeks ago so this week’s wetness could make it even more important to protect yourself. I’d rather not attend to any head injuries in the rain and cold. Ok?

With the potential of reduced visibility comes the increased importance of good front and rear lights. You know how Austin motorists get when the weather turns…

Watch out for deer! I try to ride the west route a couple of time a week and I don’t think there’s been a ride in the last couple of years without seeing at least one, two or ten. Please slow down for the deer. It’s much quicker than hitting one.

Ride what brung ya. Road, mountain, bmx, cruzer, fixie, whatever. Metal Fitness is an equal opportunity ride and not limited to roadies.

You’ll need to bring water, LIGHTS, tube changing necessities, a lock, your id and TIP MONEY if you’re into quaffing free beer post ride.

See you there!

Happy Thanksgiving

Well, the Thanksgiving holiday weekend is coming to a close but, before it does, I’d like to give thanks… I’m thankful for not hearing “Go Lance” or “Say Hi to Lance” or “Faster, Lance” yelled by a passing motorist in the last three times I’ve hit the road.

And you thought we were lucky to share the city with Mellow Johnny…

"Go lance."

And my response...

Time To Work Some Of That Halloween Candy Off.

Cheers to those of you braving the weather last week to show up and ride with us. As it was, despite somewhat cool temperatures, the storms passed leaving us nice and dry. Which is good because, as you may know, when there’s lightning, it always brings me down. Cause it’s free and I see that it’s me who’s lost and never found. Wait… Where was I? Oh yeah. The Heavy Metal Fitness Ride… Yes. We’ll be riding the lightning (or not) this Monday evening once again.

Hope to see you there!

The Heavy Metal Fitness Ride departs the Lamar Pedestrian Bridge, Monday’s at 7:30 pm. Sharp. Expect a reasonably fast pace, covering 20 – 25 miles on an urban route in the dark.  Afterwards, it’s to the Jackalope to enjoy free beer, heavy metal madness, half-priced pizza and happy hour ($2.00 wells) all damn night.

Ride what brung ya. Road, mountain, bmx, cruzer, fixie, whatever. Metal Fitness is an equal opportunity ride and not limited to roadies.

Last time I heard, you’re mother won’t be attending, so you’ll need to bring water, lights, tube changing necessities, a lock, your id and TIP MONEY if you’re drinking. You might even check the route map. I wear a helmet as the ride is fast, urban and in the dark. Yes, it’s a Heavy Metal ride but we rather you didn’t bang your head. Remember. Head injuries slow rides. And you don’t want to slow down a Heavy Metal Fitness ride. Now do you?

Texas Custom Bicycle Show. This Weekend!

I’m preparing myself for some heavy drooling when I head over to the Austin Convention Center this weekend for the Texas Custom Bicycle Show.

The show’s in conjunction with the Livestrong Challenge and exhibitors will include:

Alchemy, Bilenky Cycle Works, Crumpton Cycles, Daltex Handmade Bicycles, Dominion Bicycle Company, Gallus Cycles, Kirklee, Massengill Cycles,  Southwest Frameworks, True Fabrication, Violet Crown Cycles and Willits Brand Bicycles. Whew, that’s some list!

The schedule is as follows:

Friday, October 23, 9 am – 5 pm, Livestrong Village / Austin Convention Center

Saturday, October 24, 9 am – 1 pm, Livestrong Village / Austin Convention Center

Sunday, October 25, 8:30 am – 5 pm, Livestrong Challenge Finish Line / Dripping Springs, Tx

Be sure and bring a hanky to wipe the drool off your chin!

FOUND!! – Keith’s Handsome Devil

That which has been taken has been recovered!

I just got off the phone with Keith who relayed to me that his ride is once more his ride. Yes!

Seems as though the dumb ass drunk who stole it managed to crash it right in front of a University of Texas policeman. During questioning, he was unable to get the name straight of just where he picked up his fancy ride and subsequently was arrested for public drunkenness and theft of a bicycle. Wow. The UT police cracked a case!

I’m sure Keith would want me to thank everyone who’s had an eye out for his bicycle and I’ll do the same. Thanks ya’ll!

Baby's Back!

Update:

Local cyclist and fellow flatlander, Chris H, pointed us to the UT Campus Watch Archives for this tidbit:

200 West 6th Street

Public Intoxication: A non-UT subject was observed swerving and swaying heavily before he fell over. Compounding this dangerous behavior was the fact the subject was operating a bicycle on the sidewalk when all of this took place. The subject provided several different accounts as to who owned the bicycle and where he obtained it. The subject was found to be under the influence of an alcoholic beverage to the point he was deemed to be a danger to himself and pedestrians. Occurred on 10/16/09 at 1:30 AM.

A veritable criminal mastermind, eh?…

It’s On!

It’s time, once again, to prepareth thyself for the pain, suffering and free beer quaffing of the Monday Night Heavy Metal Fitness Ride!

While Keith scours the back alleys and dark underbelly of Austin’s evil world of bike thieves, searching for his lovely missing steed, the Metal ride must go on. I’ll be calling out the directions this week with the help of the usual suspects. Our route, thus far, is a mystery. Possibly the traditional south route or maybe the “Route of Timaeus” from last week. Who knows.

Here the lowdown:

The Heavy Metal Fitness Ride departs the Lamar Pedestrian Bridge, Monday’s at 7:30 pm. Sharp. Expect a reasonably fast pace, covering 20 – 25 miles on an urban route in the dark.  Afterwards, it’s to the Jackalope to enjoy free beer, heavy metal madness, half-priced pizza and happy hour ($2.00 wells) all damn night.

Ride what brung ya. Road, mountain, bmx, cruzer, fixie, whatever. Metal Fitness is an equal opportunity ride and not limited to roadies.

Last time I heard, you’re mother won’t be attending, so you’ll need to bring water, lights, tube changing necessities, a lock, your id and TIP MONEY if you’re drinking. You might even check the route map. I wear a helmet as the ride is fast, urban and in the dark. Yes, it’s a Heavy Metal ride but we rather you didn’t bang your head. Remember. Head injuries slow rides. And you don’t want to slow down a Heavy Metal Fitness ride. Now do you?